As I look back on my Christian journey, thinking about who I use to be, compared to who I am now, I am amazed. I, like you, am a work in progress. It is good at times to look back and see what God has done. When I first gave my life to Christ, I was so caught up in the world that if I was honest, I would tell you how much I feared it. As a man discovering who I was, along with the world claiming my identity, I found myself lost, not knowing how I fit into this world or my purpose for being here. You know what I am talking about, it began in our childhood. When we were teased, chosen last for a team, rejected among the popular groups, and you were left feeling less than, or you experienced the complete opposite.
I will stay on the rejected first. Regardless of the reason you and I were rejected at one time in our lives or many times, we know the feeling. These experiences can have a very negative impact on who were are as people. If you were abused or had a handicap of any sort you know what it means to feel less than. I found myself falling into perfectionism at a very early age, not realizing it. The problem with that is, I held such a high expectation of myself, never allowing myself to succeed or find excellence. Instead I had a false Identity built on lies straight from Hell. I believe the lies alone had the power to imprison me from my true potential.
Let me give you some examples of the lies I was believing when I found Christ. First of all, I hated who I was, I hated the fear I had inside, so I created a tough image to hide it, without realizing I was doing it. I held on to guilt from my past, some which was mine and some that wasn’t. The rejection I had experienced caused me to react to things in ways that kept me chained. I thought negative about myself so I would choose things that were not good for me but rather kept me feeling safe, or I wouldn’t choose things that I should have chosen due to fear.
I was a very weak person. When I found Christ I began to change, first when I started believing Gods truth and pushing out the lies. Second when I started trusting Him and walking In faith. Dealing with my fears, like when God led me to do poetry readings at Barns And Nobles. I was terrified to speak in front of crowds but I knew it was what God wanted, so I did it. For a year straight I humiliated myself trusting God, and the power of my fear for the most part broke. Now I write on a blog knowing I am not the best writer and I can’t spell all that well, though again I am trusting God and being vulnerable. If I hadn’t taken the chance with trusting God I would never have seen the truth I am In Him. I would still be afraid to speak in public, I wouldn’t have taken the chance to share my walk with you.
1 Corinthians 1:27
New International Version (NIV)
27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
You see If you are struggling with things about your past or who you are, God can and will heal you, If you will allow Him to. It requires believing His word and trusting the Potter which is Christ, with the Clay you are in His hands of love. God promises to take your weaknesses and turn them to strength.
Those who grew up the opposite, You were chosen first, you were in the popular group or even those God has healed and now uses powerfully, face the danger of the other side of the coin. Trusting in your own strength and abilities, which leads to pride and arrogance, and the lack of realizing your real need for Jesus. I have and still do at times deal with relying on my own strength and pride. As long as you walk close to the Lord and recognize your need in Him, He will walk you through it. The important thing is to have our hearts open to God, submitting to His inner work and living by His word. We need to find the heart to surrender to Christ so that He can shape us into our true identity which is only found in Him. Whether your weakness is pride and strength in your abilities or you believe lies of who you are. Place them before Christ so He can take your weakness and turn it to strength.
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