Relationships seem to begin well, after some time they can be very complicated. Two different people trying to connect with each other, with the goal to become one in each other. So often what we find is conflict and then it goes unresolved. Once so excited, talking on the phone for hours at a time, never seemingly getting enough of each other. So what happened? How did things go wrong? What changed? What led to saying things we will regret! the cold shoulder, anger, tears, resentment, and hopelessness!
Can it be repaired? Do I want to repair it? He changed, she is not the same person. I’m no longer attracted. I cant forgive. I cant forget. My heart is hard, I cant go on! So few avoid this from happening, so few live the dream we all start with. Our vision of a relationship in our mind, that ever so quickly crumbles.
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
This scripture is very challenging when it is the last thing you feel like doing. Our battle is against principalities. We are called to choose and not live by our feelings.
Ephesians 6:12King James Version (KJV)
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Principalities want you to work off of feelings rather than love. Feelings are the hook! Like a fish caught fighting for its life. Caught by the bait of pride, fear, insecurities, lies, anger, and fooled by the shinny lure of misunderstanding! If only we could see to the heart like God. I believe it was purposed for us not to see to the heart. I believe we are purposed to battle with feelings. Because our battles begin in the mind and if we are convinced in our mind the enemy has its hold.
Might I say relationships are not about feelings but a choice, a choice to love. A commitment to do what is right regardless of the other person. The choice to love when you feel the person doesn’t deserve your love, as we do not deserve Gods love.
When we walk by our feelings it is like a blind man feeling his way around in the darkness. We must walk by the word of God which is the lamp to our feet. At first the feelings we have are not good but as we walk by faith and the word of God our sick heart heals and feelings that were dead come alive in Christ. So we must walk by faith not by sight or feelings.
Men are so built to lead but what happens when the women starts giving honey do list, or telling her husband not to do this or that! The man puffs up his frustrations, because you know, he is the man, he should lead! He struggles with disrespect rather then understanding relationships are about serving, Remaining humble, being gentle, leading by softening his character. Not listening to the negative thoughts about her in his head. Instead renewing his mind to the mind of Christ.
When a relationship is lost and there seems no hope to fix it, I can tell you there is always hope. You must start to dig up the bad that you sowed. So that you can begin planting new seed. because Gods word says you reap what you sow.
Dig up your hard heart, resentment, and anger. Dig up the lies in your head. Put on Christ and begin by sacrificing. Sacrifice your time, give up things to God and your relationship without him or her knowing. Serve them, seek to understand the true heart of their bad behavior, rather than living in misunderstanding. Care about how they feel, choose to care for them as you desire to be cared for, even if you don’t feel it. Most people act badly when they are hiding hurt. The crazy thing is if we take the time to find out whats really going on we can usually fix it quickly.
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves
I am a work in progress, sharing my walk with you through this blog!